It's time

The funniest thing happened last weekend when I was visiting some family in Thanjavur. Two of the closest members in my family said to me that my face was swollen and inquired if I was okay. I almost burst out laughing coz the honest truth is that I have just gained weight and my face obviously did so too. But I didn’t laugh. I put on my best poker face, mumbled the lame reason of travel fatigue and fled the spot. LOL!

Before venturing further, I want to categorically make it clear that this post is not to written with the intention of fat-shaming. The only standard I measure myself up against is myself. At one point in my life, one of my absolute nightmares was that I would become fat. So, I do catch myself thinking how did I ever get to this point where I have put on so much weight. My BMI is just barely below the overweight range. But do I feel ashamed of this setback of sorts? No. I feel loved and cherished by those who matter to me (despite flaws and all). I feel I have a certain amount of respect at work (again despite flaws, shortcomings and all). I have navigated turbulent waters, both personal and professional and managed to sail through. I have handled unclear situations with patience. I have always given the benefit of the doubt to my loved ones before I start a fight if there were ever any differences and have always striven to be understanding. So considering all those aspects of my life and how I have conducted myself, I don’t feel bad about the fact that I have gained weight at all. No regrets. Absolutely none.

I can give reasons that my career and all my other responsibilities have prevented me from taking fitness seriously. And it is a valid reason. It is not always possible to have all the aspects of your life in control at all times. Having a career and running a house is no mean feat. As misguided as it may seem in this context there is a Buddhist philosophy which says, “Don’t try to like yourself. Just be kind to yourself” and I believe in it. I think it is important to forgive ourselves for our mistakes and make peace with them. Or at least try to. But I recently hit an age milestone which will not be revealed here (owing to the Author possessing a certain degree of vanity; also, if you want to say age is just a number, try telling that to a person who intends to appear for a competitive exam in this part of the world). And you know when you have thought enough about something and finally reach that sort of Zen-mode where your mind tells you, “It's time”. I am in that state now. So, as valid as all the reasons were, it's time; time to buckle up and take some measures to lose weight.

I do know that if I had made my health and fitness a priority I would not have reached this point in the first place. My weight gain started when I began slacking in my food habits like a year and a half ago. Before then, I had a system of sorts in place and it was super effective. I ate mostly vegetables for lunch, made sure egg was part of my breakfast, made sure to have two cups of green tea during office hours, ate nuts with fruits for my 5 PMish evening snack which I shared with my then colleague and neighbor at office who is also a dear friend, had a light dinner and so on. When I look back, it’s amazing how I invented excuses to get off the rails over time. I have miles to go with my goals in life. I have so many things I want to achieve (again, personal and professional) and that will not be made possible with my current fitness standards. Aside from the endorphins they say that any fitness regimen provides, I also want to increase my stamina. I had a naturally lean, slender frame (which I think can be restored through some dietary changes), a good metabolism, and I always see results as soon as I start putting in some minimum effort. I intend to use these factors to my advantage in this journey.

My strategy is to lose weight by mainly focusing on my diet. Once I have that in control and start seeing results I plan to take up some regular physical activity to get better at fitness. Following are some of the basic measures I want to set in place right now before I come up with more measures to regroup:

1. Cut back on coffee: This is more of an occupational hazard. I take coffee the way most Tamil people like their coffee- with lots of milk and sugar. Sigh!
2. Regulate sleep timings: Easier said than done!
3. Carve out time for myself: I found that I often tend to stay up late or mess up timings in general if I feel like I have denied myself my ‘me time’. So making a conscious effort to spend time on myself will ensure that my sleep timings are more regular, but most importantly make me feel good.
4. Maintain a more Alkaline diet
5. Very light dinners: This is tough coz most days after a full day of work, commute (which averages around 2 hours a day) and loads of other responsibilities all I want to do is get some food inside me and crash, so I don’t really pay attention to calories but I should from now and also eat dinner early.
6. Proper asthma medication: I did not have childhood asthma. I had the first asthma attack in my life this Jan. I am guilty of not taking my medication on good days. Obviously this is a bad idea since no one can function properly when their lungs don’t fetch them the maximum oxygen that they should which is how it feels sometimes when I try to take a full breath, even on good days.
7. Walking at least 5 times a week for 40 minutes each of those times.
8. GM diet: I have tried this before and seen results. But let me tell you it is not the easiest of diets. I won’t be taking the decision lightly about getting into this one. But after a few days I think I will start this one. Let’s see.
9. Drink more water
10. More fruits and veggies

This is just an initial brainstorming sort of list to get things going. I will update on this a few days later on how it goes. I also have another very good reason to lose weight. Sometime next year my family hopes that my brother will be getting married (it will be an Arranged Marriage). So in view of that, I want to look my best (representing the groom’s side and all). To talk about my brother, he used to be a little lazy when he was living in India. He worked for two years here after completing his Bachelors in Engineering. He then went to the US to pursue his Masters and started working there. I always thought it took a certain amount of guts on his part to leave a privileged upbringing of sorts where you don’t really have to lift a finger at home and to go to a place where you have to do everything by yourself. It is tough to manage to study, do all chores for yourself, manage your own money and so on. And my brother didn’t just manage. He emerged better than ever before. Most of my friends who went to study there struggled a lot academically, had trouble finding jobs to cover living costs and right away gained too much weight because of getting into bad junk food habits and were unable to cope with all the stress. They have nothing to be sorry for about anything (just like I don't feel sorry for anything either) in my opinion but when someone does manage to piece together different aspects of their life it should be acknowledged.

Growing up he was the smarter one of the two of us in different aspects (Note: definitely not all; so if any category is ever mentioned I will always state that that was the category he was severely lacking in :P). Jokes aside, he has got General Proficiency in school for Academics many times, got centum many times unlike me, was a Boy Scout who received his certificate from the President. He also writes way better than me. I still remember how super impressed I was when I finished reading the Statement of Purpose that he submitted to the Universities in the US to secure an admission. Even my dad was impressed with how well he had brought together the different facets of his life to culminate in such a way that his Master’s Degree made sense. I had even written a little about his blog here. After he went to the US he seemed to improve a lot more as I have mentioned before. He finished his Masters in the US with no tuition fee (he was the Teaching Assistant and the Research Assistant during different semesters and he received a stipend). He also got his job with an American company almost right away unlike many of my friends who were so stressed for a long time.

He has been working in the US for close to three years now. He is someone who visits the gym four to five times a week, watches what he eats, manages his own money reasonably well, invests in experiences rather than things (is eager to travel), pursues various hobbies (like boating). Thankfully, he doesn’t impose his standards on others. He is someone who accepts people for who they are. He has told my parents and I a couple of times to take fitness seriously (in my family’s WhatsApp group), but beyond that he has never mentioned anything. One thing I wish for is that he gets over his aversion to social media. I have told him many times to curate some kind of nice presence in his social media accounts. It still surprises me how of all the good looking pictures (which he sends to the family WhatsApp group) in a particular trip, he chooses the most ugly one to put in his WhatsApp DP or LinkedIn DP or FB DP; that is, if he changes any of those in the first place (mostly he is likely to do that once in 2 years). I have also told him to create a folder in FB for big trips (like his recent trip to Hungary) and post a nice selection of very few pics (like 5 to 10) there. To date he has never, ever done this with any of his trips. If I choose one pic for him and ask him to please change his DP, even though he changes his DP, he ignores the pic that I sent and chooses the most ugly one. Like for instance, the WhatsApp DP he has right now (which he changed from another horrible pic which didnt look like him at all either) looks like it was taken after a long day in the Sun with no Sunscreen. So let’s just conclude he is not even moderately gifted in that sphere.

Here’s hoping that my parents can find a sweet girl from a good family who will appreciate all his hard work to reach this point, be his strength and is also mature and understanding of my brother and his shortcomings (some stated above and other ones); and likewise, that my brother will do the same for his life partner. And also, that he cultivates a certain sense of sensitivity and tact which he apparently lacks when he speaks :P Anyways, I know that what is meant to be, will be.

As for me, wish me luck in my new endeavor!